Hello Nature

 (30x30 Nature Challenge, Day 1)

                One of the first things that I noticed as I went out for my first 30x30 walk in nature was a hole in my rubber boots. This was followed by the realization that rubber boots in snow with wet socks leads to really cold feet. Despite this, I trudged along.

                The second thing I noticed was the noise, I thought it would be quiet, that the frogs were still frozen somewhere waiting for spring. I was wrong. They are awake and getting louder by the minute as I wandered around. I will try to record the sound when they are at full throttle and share it with you another day.

                I also noticed how pretty the stars were in their reflection in the grass and dead leaf ponds that have showed up all over the yard. Once the frogs start moving I can see my little ones having a good time chasing them down and splashing through these puddles.

                I am always surprised how far balls can travel on their own, we pumped up all the balls on Sunday and I found this one at the end of my trails waiting to encourage me with a smile!

I had a long day, didn't sleep well, dropped off the kidlets for their first day at daycare (which went well), was late for work, spent the day with flowers and heat (which was nice), then was reminded at the last minute that my teen daughter had a concert. After running around picking everyone up, feeding them, and then packing them up again, we made it through the day. I got home, and after everyone was in bed, watched Survivor and then started watching some sitcoms and almost talked myself into NOT going outside. I was tired and just wanted to lay on the couch and watch T.V. So I kicked myself off the couch, grabbed my rubber boots (note to self- buy new rubber boots), my coat, flashlight and camera and went for a walk in Nature. 

It helps that Nature is about ten feet out my back door!

After the walk, I have cold feet, but my skin feels better and I'm ready for bed. So good night and hopefully I can get out during the daylight hours tomorrow!

Here is a picture of my pond (I didn't know I had one!)

Becoming a Mom at 20!

I was seventeen when I started dating G, and a few months later we found out that his ex-girlfriend was pregnant. At first she stated she didn’t want anything to do with G and we let it go at that for a while. We got regular posts from common friends on her progress and at one point weren’t sure if she would be able to carry the baby to term. The weekend that he was born, G and I were in Fort Mac visiting family. Still, he nor any of his family met the baby until he was three months old.

Then things changed. G was living at his parents at the time so they would take Eric from M(his mom) and then Eric would go back to her place. It was always scary sending him back with her because she moved around a lot, would sell/lose his toys all the time and he would often return with an ear infection or cold. There were even a few times when I had to get on the bus and go across town to bring her food and diapers because she had none and no money.

When Eric was about a year and a half, G and I moved in to a high-rise apartment downtown and I started caring for Eric more often. He loved it there, we would go the Legislative Grounds to play in the water all summer, go for walks to the museum or parks, go swimming in the buildings pool, play lego and whatever we wanted. It was great.

Then we moved again and this time thought to get a house with a yard, it was close to Nait. I was working at Kingsway at the time and G was working night shifts. When Eric was at our place we would switch off days and nights caring for him and everything was working out just fine. I was starting to get ready to look into going to University in the fall of that year.

But someone had other plans. Within 24 hours M lost custody and we ended up with Eric full time. We tried to make it work but G had started working 12 hour night shifts and it was harder and harder for us to keep our sanity as we tried to work and be there for Eric (who was almost three). So after fighting with my manager to change my hours, and she refused, I quit and went to stay home with Eric.

I became his full-time mom overnight, at 20 years old. I made a lot of mistakes, took bad advice from strangers and friends and family alike, cried, screamed, laughed, and grieved (for my lost freedoms). But at the end of the day I would look at this little boy who needed me more than anything else in the world and I knew I had made the right decision.

He was my first baby! My little buddy! Sometimes my only friend!

It was lonely raising him sometimes, because none of my friends had kids and I’m not great at making new friends. The two of us spent a lot of time on our own exploring the city or just our backyard. I remember walking with him for hours down streets and roads, looking at flowers and bugs, talking and answering his many questions, carrying him when he got tired.

My little buddy is now 16 and not so little, but he is still one of my best friends. Sometimes I still mourn the loss of a post-secondary experience and the career I might have had from it but then I remember my little E-man and know that this life is good and in the end a lot more rewarding!

I love you Eric!